Today's date has just been added to the list of the worst days of my life. This morning I lost my big, beautiful orange cat, Orion. He apparently had a heart attack or a stroke.
I was getting ready to get in the shower when I heard a clunk somewhere. I went to look for Orion (Gorgeous was already in the room with me) and couldn't find him upstairs. Wondering if he had knocked something over in the basement, I opened the basement door and saw him lying on his side in the floor. I rushed down to him and picked him up. He hissed a little (he was obviously frightened) but he was as limp as a rag doll. I rushed upstairs and put him in a carrier, grabbed my wallet, my phone, and my keys, and headed for the vet. I called them along the way to alert them that I was bringing him in and why, so they were ready for me. They listened to his heart and determined that it was no longer beating. The vet told me that they could attempt to resuscitate him if I wanted but that it was not usually successful in cats. I declined this, knowing that even on the off chance that they could resuscitate him, he would likely have serious impairment that would mean poor quality of life. He will be cremated and his ashes will take their place alongside those of his beloved predecessors, Jones and Blossom.
Orion had recently been diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a condition in which the heart muscle thickens, causing circulatory problems and eventual death. His blood pressure was also high, which could have been either a symptom of or the cause of the cardiomyopathy. Thus, we were treating his blood pressure and hoping that the cardiomyopathy would stabilize or reverse. As of last week, we appeared to have the blood pressure under control. The next course would have been to have another echocardiogram in 3 months. Now, that will not be necessary.
I am looking for any blessings in this awful event. That he will not suffer a long decline is obviously one of them. Also, I was home when it happened. I was supposed to be on the way to southern Illinois for a Geological Survey field trip but I was running late in getting out of the house. If I had been more timely, I would not have been here for Orion to spend whatever last moments of life he had with me. I pray that his last memory is of being in my arms.
Need I even say that I am devastated? This was so une xp ected, in spite of his condition. I thought we would have a couple of years, not a couple of weeks, and I just was not prepared to lose him so abruptly. But Man proposes, God disposes, as they say, and nobody can know from one moment to the next how much time they or their loved ones have. Orion was at least 10, possibly older, as he was already an adult when I brought him home from the shelter 8 years ago. Thus, 8 years was the full tale of our time together.
Now, I have only memories. Orion could be temperamental but primarily he was very loving and affectionate, at least with humans. He and Gorgeous didn't always get along, however. He whipped her mercilessly in fights, but she was the instigator of most of them. But usually, they did get along. Now, she will be the only cat for the rest of her time, which is what I think she wanted. I wonder how she will react once it dawns on her that he's no longer here. Blossom never seemed to notice once Jones was gone...but she went from full health to terminal kidney failure in only 8 months, which could have been driven by grief.
Ironically, I got Orion because of Gorgeous. After I got her at the end of 2003, I planned on a second cat eventually but not quite so soon. However, she seemed very needy emotionally, so I got a second cat after just two months, so she wouldn't be alone while I was at work. Thus, her neediness was what presented Orion the opportunity to be adopted.
Orion had only been at the shelter a few days prior to my first sight of him. He had obviously spent some time on the mean winter streets of central Illinois, as his paw pads were cracked and hard. (Later on, they healed.) Just as obviously, he had been someone's pet, as he had been neutered and front-declawed. I will never know whether he accidentally got out and got lost from his owner, or they just threw him out. He never showed any inclination to go outside after he came home with me, so I'm guessing the latter vs. the former. It is appalling that people can treat loving, feeling creatures so callously.
I remember when I first brought him home from the shelter, late February 2004. He was quite the scaredy-cat and I kept him in the bathroom isolated from Gorgeous for a few days until they could get used to the presence of the other beyond the door. After I gave him free run of the house, for the next couple of days he spent most of his time behind the couch. Finally, he decided he was ready to be friends. I was lying on the couch watching TV. He cautiously came out from behind the couch, hopped up in front of me, laid down stretched out along me, put his head on my arm, and purred loudly.
He loved to be on my lap; if he were alive right now, this would be hard to type as I would be reaching around him to use the keyboard. He slept snuggled up against me every night. His antics involving food were legendary, and if there was a mouse around, he was the fiercest and most unstoppable of predators.
The French author Colette said, "Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet." Now, I have lost one of my perfect companions. While my life will be the emptier and sadder for that loss in the short term, it will have been the richer and happier in the long term. And, I will always remember my beloved friend, his soothing purr, the little meows he'd make while stomping on my lap prior to settling down, and his complete contentment just to be near me.
RIP, beloved Orion
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"Olorin I was in the West that is forgotten...."