Funny Stuff

1
I see a lot of funny things and I've decided to spread the humor.
If it's related to JRRT/ME or SW or ST, I'll post it in the appropriate forum, but much of it is related to everyday life, but still very funny.
So here it is, (or here they are):

Gem of the Day:
The AZ Republic used to publish a Gem of the Day on Page 2.
This one appeared years ago and I saved it.

During a heated argument in the US Senate in the 1920s, one man told a collegue to 'go to hell'.
The astonished senator questioned then VP Calvin Coolidge, who was presiding, as to the propriety of the remark.
Coolidge, who had been leafing through a book, looked up and said, " I have been checking the rules manual, and it says you don't have to go."


Another Gem:
Cats are definitely smarter than dogs.
You never see eight cats pulling a sled through the snow.

And a short news article from long ago:
In June [no year given], a judge in Thousand Oaks CA dismissed neighbors' request for an injunction against Kathleen Adams who, the neighbors said, lures squirrels to her home with food and thus creates a nuisance.
Adams claims that the area is populated with squirrels anyway, and she does not need to lure them.
Neighbors' evidence included the fact that Adams posts "Squirrels Welcome" signs in her yard, but the judge said he found the signs unpersuasive in that he doubted the squirrels could read.

"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL

Re: Funny Stuff

4
Found these tucked away in [virtual] folder...some of my Favorite Far Side cartoons
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Cows 2.jpg
Einstein equation 1.jpg
larsen snake 2.jpg
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"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL

Re: Funny Stuff

6
Great sign....
Men will die.jpg
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"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL

Re: Funny Stuff

7
So, (since retiring) I have been clearing stuff out (to be replaced with more stuff like the Isildur statue and Thrandy helms :crazy: )and selling some of it on Craigslist.
Really, people buy some things I really didn't think would sell...like an 8 ft heavy duty shipping tube for $7 (originally used for shipping me fourteen 6 ft steel bars) sold to some high school kids who were building trebuchets for a medieval warfare class.

Anyway, I've gotten my share of scammers, but have never been taken in.
First time it happened I went to the web to learn how to spot them--all their tricks and verbiage-- and came across an article by a security advisor. He tells how a friend of his handles these crooks by wasting their time.
It is pretty funny. He posted a example of his friend's MO...I've copied it below.

What's Mark's modus operandi? Here’s a transcript of an actual email exchange. First, Mark posted a radial saw for sale on Craigslist for $500.

Scammer: Hello, what’s the best price for the 16-inch radical arm saw (Dewalt) -- $500?

Mark: $1,000

Scammer: Is the price firm and the condition good?

Mark: Yes, price is firm unless I get higher offers before you pay and the condition is not so good.

Scammer: Great. I’ll be glad to buy from you. Pls provide me with your name to make your certified check to in payment for it. Also provide the mailing address to have it delivered in mail tomorrow. Pickup arrangement will be made after check is confirmed clear at your bank. Looking forward to do business with you.

Mark: OK, just so you know, the truck that picks it up has to have a forklift, 2 stank hooks, and a clift bar in order to get it on the truck.

Scammer: That’s OK, will make the necessary arrangement for pickup.

Mark: I need confirmation from your shipper that they have the necessary equipment.

Scammer: Yes, just confirmed.

Mark: Sorry, that was too quick. I need written confirmation from an actuarial warranty accountant that the equipment can handle the load and configuration.

Scammer: I will send you check, OK? Just send me your address. I will send you check for $3,000, you deposit and keep $1,500 (an extra $500 for your trouble), and then send the other $1,500 to my shipper via Western Union, after my check clears.

Mark sends the scammer all bogus information, often including the address of the White House, Scotland Yard, or some other famous address, along with the personal details of James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, and so on. The scammer sends a “certified bank check” that he hopes Mark will deposit in his bank. Most people think the “check” clears simply because the bank accepts the check deposit. The scammer hopes the person deposits the check and sends the extra amount (real money from the victim’s bank account) via Western Union. A few days later the bank voids the bogus check.
Mark isn't done having fun yet. A few days later, the scammer checks in: .


Scammer: Did you get the check?

Mark: I just moved. Can you send to my new address?

Scammer: [Usually no reply for minutes to hours] Yes, what is your new address?

Mark sends them another bogus address, sometimes asking for the check to be sent via certified mail to waste a little scammer money.

Scammer: Did you get the check?

Mark: Yes, thank you. Unfortunately, I ran out of money and had to spend the money you sent me. I also sold the radial saw. Someone else offered me $4,000. But if you send me another $2,000 for my $6,000 18-inch radial saw, I will give you the amount I owe you. Plus I just moved again, but this time I think I’m staying. My Internet access is sketchy, so we may have to use regular mail for future communications.

And so on. Mark is able to get these scammers to participate for weeks and weeks, each day getting them more frustrated and angry. I know what Mark does isn't terribly productive, but his antics have probably persuaded a scammer or two to find another line of business.

"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL

Re: Funny Stuff

10
Has anyone else seen this?

Pachelbel's Canon in C.... aka Pachelbel's Chicken Canon.

The Canon in D is one of my favorite [classical] pieces; when I heard/saw this, I was laughing and crying at the same time .
It is amazing that people figure out how to do something like this.

https://www.classicfm.com/composers/pac ... n-chicken/

"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL

Re: Funny Stuff

11
Here is a funny story for winter.....(Idril, you can pretend it's winter and read it now or wait 6 months :laugh: )

Boy and His Boots

A little boy in kindergarten was trying to put on his snow boots and asked his teacher for help. While he pulled and she pushed, and still with much difficulty, the boots finally went on. She was wiping the perspiration from her brow, when the boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.” She looked down, and sure enough, they were.

Sighing audibly, she set to removing the boots, which didn’t come off any easier than they had gone on. She managed not to show her exasperation as they worked to get the boots back on the right feet. The boy then announced, “These aren’t my boots.”

Rather than raise her voice and berate the boy with, “Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” she clenched her jaw and bit her tongue. Once again she struggled to help him pull off the ill-fitting boots. The boy looked at her and said, “These are my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear them.”

At this the teacher did not know whether to laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots onto his feet again. She stood up and looked around and asked, “Where are your mittens?” The boy said, “I stuffed them in the toes of my boots. . . . ”

"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL

Re: Funny Stuff

14
Idril wrote: Sun Nov 18, 2018 8:04 pm Good story....... I wonder what snow boots are
I hope you are kidding.... :rolleye:

"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL

Re: Funny Stuff

15
Someone sent me this....(I am very much an introvert. )
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Introvert Humour

Sometimes just seeing people post photos of going out on the weekends makes me tired.

My friend is giving me the silent treatment. Joke's on her (or him).

A knock, knock joke for introverts: Knock, knock. *nobody answers* Knock, knock. *nobody answers* Knock, knock. *nobody answers*

Home is where the introvert is.

I bet the quiet game was created by introverted parents with extroverted kids.

Go out and shop on Black Friday? Hahaha...no.

If I don't answer your phone call, there is a 90% chance I stared at the phone until it stopped ringing.

So what's the deal with extroverts? I mean, do they come with an off button, or what?

Introvert Haiku:
You are way too loud
My brain is about to break
I must run away

A stimulating conversation that delves into topics of depth and substance is one time in which you will actually hear me talk quite a bit.

Introvert Yoda: “Stop talking, you must.”

"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL

Re: Funny Stuff

16
Good Advice....
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Make Tea.jpg
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"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL

Re: Funny Stuff

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Social Distancing 2.jpg
Social Distancing 1.jpg
FS Truck Collision.jpg
What Dogs and Cats really hear.jpg
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"Eternity is an awful long time, especially towards the end."

"What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing.
It also depends on what sort of person you are.” -- CSL
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